Dat Green Juice Tho…

Welcome to Planet Not-That-Obvious. Green Juice – i.e. a blended mix of fruits and veggies – TASTES AMAZING.

I mean, it may look like the sludge you might find in an old sink drain. It may have the mouth-feel of minced burlap. But dang girl, it tastes so good it should be criminal.

Oh yeah, it’s also a super quick way to get a ton of healthy bits into your body. #goals

Fruit is sweet. It has natural complex sugars, so yeah – if you’re trying to lose weight – you don’t want to gorge on it. However, a spoonful of it definitely helps the medicine go down.

Pro-Tip: Berries are the best fruit for snacking, but in a smoothie they’re a pain because of the seeds. I go for a Mixed Bag of peaches, strawberries, mangos and bananas. Be warned, mangoes are amazing but have the least bang for the buck – plus I’ve been told they swell up in your stomach.

Frozen fruit gets an A-plus for efficiency. One, you don’t have to wash or cut it up. Two, you can substitute it for ice cubes in your blended smoothie.

Kale, wheatgrass and arugula are some of my favorite greens because they have a pepper-kick to them. That way you feel less like a bunny nibbling on lawn bits and more like a honey badger, who doesn’t give a s**t.

Ginger is my secret weapon. Yeah, it actually comes in this weird twisty little root thing before it becomes a Gingerbread House. It’s amazing for digestion and adds an extra kick to everything you eat.

Orange Juice Concentrate. (Obvious Hint – Get the kind that has no added sugar. Also, the kind that has a re-sealable lid.) This stuff is also a good ice-substitute and adds Vitamins and citrusy goodness to your mix.

(By the way, I have nothing against ice. It’s just a pain in the butt to make and keep.)

Green Juices, unlike your other smoothies, don’t need any soy or almond milk. They also are heavy on the good stuff, which is the dark green veggies.

You can pretty much experiment with anything in your fridge. Here’s my favorite experiment – one that I have almost every morning to kick my ass into gear.

“The Wake Up Call” Kale/Ginger/OJ/Fruit

  • Fill the blender with like a finger or two of water (i.e. about 1-2 inches, add more as needed)
  • Add about three generous handfuls of curly kale – ripped up a bit.
  • Cut off a knob of ginger. Slice off both ends and then skin it.
  • Turn on blender to Chop mode until the kale is pretty soupy
  • Add a Tablespoon of Frozen OJ Concentrate.
  • Throw in about 2-3 moderate handfuls of frozen mixed fruit.
  • Turn on blend to Smoothie or Shake mode until the fruit stops grinding
  • ProTip: Jiggle the blender a bit to get the fruit down to the bottom
  • Enjoy!


If you find a combination you like, please post it in the comments and share your dark magic with the world!


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